Anonymous asked: I work in the sex industry. I'm not against feminism and I'm not here to attack your blog- but I'm not exactly for feminism or anti porn activism because it kind of feels you guys are trying to put me out of work haha. However I would like a better understanding on some matters you support. I'm sure you've heard this before but I genuinely like my job, I feel empowered, free, etc. etc. Now if this is how I truly feel why would you wanna stop me if you're for equality? Shouldn't I have the right
To choose what I want to do with my body? Why should I follow beliefs I don’t believe in? Shouldn’t we have the freedom to do what we please and work where we want? That sounded kind if aggressive but again I’m not attacking you I’m genuinely curious and want a better understanding of this movement. I’m intrigued by what feminists stand for, but also confused. Thank you in advance for taking time to read this and reply.
Hi, first, I will refer you to a previous post I made, talking to a girl who liked her job in sex work (as a cam girl):
I would like you to know, in a nutshell, that I am against the porn industry.
I am against mainstream gonzo porn which depicts very violent misogynistic sex where the synonym for ‘woman’ is ‘slut’, ‘whore’ and bitch. I am against very violent porn where a woman is being slapped around and ripped to shreds is the most available type of pornography; being the default when accessing pornography. I am against the idea that the very accessible porn, free porn, depicts very rough sex as the norm — something which young curious boys (and girls) will access as possibly their first look at ‘sex.’ I don’t like that hardcore porn is now normal porn and softcore porn is just pop culture. I don’t like the way mainstream, popular pornography depicts women. I don’t like that violent acts such as choking on a penis or ‘ripping a tight virgin apart’ are ‘sexy.’
I don’t like that rough, violent sex, which I accept is the way SOME consenting adults choose to have sex is portrayed as NORMAL, as mainstream, as the ‘right’ way to have sex.
So when I say I am anti-porn; I am not anti-sex, I am not anti-sexual exploration, I am not anti anything people decide to do in their bedrooms. But I am anti-rape-culture and I am anti- to the idea that violent misogynistic sex is the first thing a 12 year old is going to see when they try and google porn. These things aren’t labelled as BDSM or tagged as particularly violent sex aimed at a kink — this is for mass consumption and I am sick to fucking death of boys who haven’t even seen a vagina in real life thinking that a cumming on a girl’s face after she chokes on your dick is healthy sex for everyone.
So if you want to be your own boss and be a cam girl that is YOUR choice and your choice alone. You decide what is right for you. I’m not targeting you, I’m wanting this giant, abusive, global industry to be held accountable for the shit its caused.
This is not black and white; nothing ever is. Sex is healthy but the sex industry isn’t. And sometimes it’s hard to break free but there’s a bigger power at hand here and a lot of things happen behind the scenes that we don’t all see. I’m just very very concerned about the harmful effects of gonzo pornography and the well-being of sex workers everywhere.
You can see here, that I don’t have any aggression against you, the sex worker. I don’t target you, the sex worker. If you want to be a sex worker, that is your choice - and I want you to be safe. That is the point of highlighting the abuses that occur in the porn industry. That is the point of highlighting the way porn twists and moulds young boys’ sexual templates when all they see is violent misogynistic porn all the time. That is the point of highlighting that many of the male directors of mainstream pornography literally hate women [ x ] and are making porn to punish them, to exploit them and to manifest their hatred for women and allow other men to gain pleasure through that and through their films.
And I want to be clear about this: the belief is not that sex is bad or wrong. The belief is not that people can’t have sex with strangers or that people can’t explore sex and sexuality. The belief has nothing to do with sex at all actually - it’s about violence against women, it’s about abuse, and it’s about oppression.
This is not about you and your job and feminists hating your job. This is not about me and my supposed opinions of sex work. It’s about the multitudes of women who are currently being abhorrently abused, it’s about the children being trafficked, it’s about the harmful stereotypes mainstream, freely accessible, popular pornography perpetuates about women, about gay people, about trans people, about POC [ x ]
So whilst I may or may not agree with the concept of sex work, of women’s bodies being sold as commodities to be consumed by men (and the extremely harmful effects on women everywhere due to this); if it’s your choice to do it, I want you to be safe and I want you to be able to leave whenever you want. I want you to have the right to say no and I want you to be protected from disease. If you already feel you have these things, I’m ecstatic; now I want each and every sex worker to have these same basic rights. I want each and every sex worker to want to be there - not because of drugs, not because they need money, not because of the pressure they feel by society and not because they were lured in by false glamour and are now unable to leave.
This whole argument, this whole debate, this whole cry for help for everyone is to raise awareness about the horrors that go on in a largely unregulated industry. The power of choice can only take you so far. You might benefit from the privilege of choice, but others do not and they are being hurt and nobody is being held accountable for this.
It is not the job of feminists to tell you what to do, to belittle you as a woman, to condemn you, to make judgements about you. It is our job to make sure that no matter what path you take in life, you are safe. Feminism exists for the sole reason of protecting women and their rights, protecting them from systematic harm, oppression, violence, prejudice. It is a paradigm shift that challenges the structure of our society - one which stands by and looks on while women are being raped, beaten, degraded, dehumanised.
And most of all, contrary to popular belief, feminists believe in the humanity of men. We believe that men are fully capable of humanity, compassion, warmth, and empathy. If we didn’t believe that men exhibited these qualities, if we thought that men were ~built~ to rape, to beat their lovers, sisters and daughters, to make films that treat women like animals, to deny us bodily autonomy, we wouldn’t be fighting this fight; we’d have given up by now.
I believe men are more than life vessels for erect penises (in the words of Dr Gail Dines) and I believe women are more than inflatable sex dolls with the capacity to breathe. That is why I want to protect them and that is why I believe, if it’s not possible to beat this industry head on, that we can beat them by refusing to consume the content they’ve shoved down our throats since we were 11 and could access the internet.
I sincerely hope you access the resources available here if you are confused about, or don’t know about, the abuses of the porn industry. And most of all, I sincerely hope that through all the grime out there on the internet, you can understand what I’ve tried to convey to you about anti-porn activism and feminism.
It is your body, it is your choice: that is the point. But it’s not only your body and it’s not only your choice.